Wednesday 11 July 2012

Finding Mr Right!

As much as I love fashion, I always wanted to write about other things that interest me too. While a lot of fashion bloggers write about food, fitness and home decor, non of those topic interest me, mine is more of a, lets say -for lack of better words- human interest piece.
Here is my first non fashion post, do let me know what you think of it.

I live in a country where it is almost socially incorrect to be single after a certain age. Now days the beloved aunties tell me that I should plan my baby on my wedding night itself! Who cares if you are prepared or not for motherhood, those ovaries of yours are not getting any younger!
F.Y.I: For that baby to happen, I need the other half. Most people {including a few friends} think I am being overtly picky and choosy in that department. Which I am! Hello, this is my life partner we are talking about, most people are picky while selecting a laptop, so I can jolly well be about something a tad bit more important!
Someone wisely said, "You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your handsome prince."  Whether you like it or not, being introduced, fixed or set-up with Mr. Oh So Wrong is every girl's rite of passage.
[Image via Pinterest]
Disclaimer* "Similarity to any person living or dead is highly likely as it is based on first hand experiences. This is not a depiction of all men, only the really really bad ones have been mentioned. The true purpose of this piece is enlightenment, mockery is just an added benefit "

You Are So Vain………..You probably think everything is about 'You'!
He walks in like he is some Rockstar or something, and from the get-go throws his attitude around. When he does talk to me- while taking a break from his self admiration - all that comes out of his mouth is “I. Me. Myself.”…blah blah blah! This is just the first ten minutes of the meeting. No wedding bells for us, thank God! It seems he’s already in a relationship- with his freakin Ego! The two of them can live happily ever after {for all anyone cares}. Goodbye Mr. Narcissism, you give a complete new meaning to the phrase 'love thy self!'.

Mama’s Boy
Ok! she is the centre of your universe, your number one gal, she  finds no faults in you and she thinks no one is worthy of you, and you very lovingly call her “Mama”.
Meet our arc, sworn, unspoken antagonist- His Mother! She is resting on a pedestal; the one you cannot touch and not-so-wise ones spend their entire life trying to reach it{As if they could ever overthrow the Queen.} The quintessential mama’s boys are basically little boys trapped in a man’s body, who are like a tennis ball bouncing between you and mommy dearest. Make no mistake, the scorecard in this relationship is forever going to be in favour of the other player. There is no winning this match, maybe a false feeling of victory once in a while. Not only one game, but the entire tournament is eventually won by an opponent who refuses to retire.

She's The Man!You know who is going to wear the panties in this relationship and it sure as hell not you! Yes he’s one of 'those' types, the type that look good only from afar. On a closer inspection you don’t like what you see. He is the kind of man- well man is a strong word, wimp is a better adjective to describe this creature- who wont stand up for you, no way! You will have to fend for yourself, and sometimes even for him. Not to be confused with with the sensitive boys-do-cry type, basically, this one is a coward. He will cling to you like wrinkled cotton, and there is not much you can do about it. He traps you with a facade of sensitivity and initially you too like his needy side, even indulge it a little, but after the honeymoon period is over  all this gets a little too overwhelming. Eventually you give in and don the pair of only pants available at home.

The Ex-Factor
“You look like some one I know”…. Sounds like a familiar tag line. Well, most of us have heard it at one time or another. You just don’t want to hear it when your maybe future husband uses it on you. Especially while alluding to his ex- girlfriend.
New Flash: There is a third wheel in this relationship and don’t be surprised it could very well be you. These types are busy living their own ex fantasy and you’re just a freeloading passenger. Three’s Company could soon be the story of your life. And as this twisted ménage à trois plays out, you could probably end up as the spectator- 'the other woman'-while your man tangos with his ex. He is so caught-up in the tunes of his past, unless you don’t decide to change the track his record is going to be played on the loop.

You are the Boss of me…Not!
Guess who is going to control the remote in this household, and ain't you, honey! Well, this is just the good part. Say hello to the modern age Neanderthal man. He may look modern and act modern, but really he is a pre- historic man at heart. A 'Me Tarzan, You Jane' type. He likes things a little too much his way. This works in the romance novels {perhaps role play, also}, but having a dashing, overbearing broods in real life just stinks. There is a time to dominate and there is a time to let go of the reigns, unfortunately these kind of men are unaware of this concept. Domination is a habit and 'Control' is his middle name. He will keep tabs - on everything you do. It’s a dictatorial regime and all you can say is “Hail Master”.
Finding the Right One may happens in an instant for a few, while others may takes a long time. Between The Losers, The Players, The Misers, The Whiner and the ones with sexuality crisis you finally stumble upon what you're looking for. Some see it as an excruciating long journey while others have a a good laugh about it, but the overall experience is a part and parcel of life.

Till then, tra-la,
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  1. Oh Amena. First of all, can I just say that I am massively proud of you for writing a non fashion related post on your fashion blog? You go, girl! Proud as hell, here!

    Onto your article. Amen, amen, amen, sister. You've listed out the archetypal males that we've all had that misfortune to meet, and you write in such a fun and interesting manner.

    Kudos, love!

    Love, Miffalicious. []

  2. Haha Amena..loved your 'classified' men-(in)formation.Hope you find your Mr.Right soon :)

  3. AWESOME post ... must say you shoulddd write more non fashion posts... loved it ...

    so truely classified ... lol

    best luck in kissing all the wrong frogs till you meet the right one ,,, enjoy the journey ,,,


    new post up

  4. Love every single discription!! They are oh so very true!!

  5. Well written amena!
    You know surprisingly I loved the "She's the man" type!
    I would love my man to be strong and dependent but controlling the cards is fun!

  6. Omg. This is the most funniest shiz I have read this week. To be fair, most men have a little bit of Neanderthal in them. No denying that some more than others. Nevertheless this post has been a fun read. Keep it up Amena. I mean really, keep it up with the writing. :)

  7. Anonymous9:30 am

    It would have been funny had it not been such a serious pain. A very well written article..I agree with every word of it.

  8. Enjoyed this thoroughly, Amena. I'm glad you're being picky! He's there - he's there and will soon show up :)

  9. Awesome one!

    Like Anushka tweeted the other, 'There might be plenty of fish in the sea, but I will only settle for caviar!'

  10. this is so brilliant!! love the quirkiness and humour going on with bang on description. and my fav part was the disclaimer i think it totally set the stage for an apologetic blunt review. ;)

    Enjoyed it to the core and has bcme a viral share within my gang of frds (only the gals , guys arent be a sport... well thts no surprise thr for U)

  11. You rock it Amena!! Love every single word of this post! I'm putting this on my FB page!!


  12. yeah...thats some smart piece to read. awesome! :)
    Love from Bindigasm
    Facebook buddies?

  13. This one is good read and good change after fashion related posts !! Finding Mr Right is such a TASK :)


  14. Beautifully written...enjoyed it. Best wishes with Mr.Right.

  15. I am laughing my lungs out ..too good :)

  16. Ha ha ha..thanks for the laughs! and good luck for meeting Mr Right. I think if Indian culture can be open about girls having little fun with Mr Tight NOW, then the girls will be better equipped to find Mr Right when the time comes - otherwise we all have to suffer the bad 'fixed' dates!..LOL, just my 2 cents! Hope you are having a wonderful day!
    Style-Delights Blog

  17. Like i always say I love the way you write darling!
    India sure is a society which still thinks a woman heading her late 20s is losing out on everything including all the Good men :P

    I'm sure, the real Mr.Right will be none of the categories above,but someone whom you cannot describe in words,for He will be the ONE!!!


  18. aww You know sometimes the "type" you dont like has nothing to do with the one you love for a lifetime. Sometimes it just works out :)

  19. awesome read!!...I totall second all of these experiences, and can relate to it....and still findign the "so-called" " Mr. Right!...

    love your blog, you write really well!...keep inspiring, keep writing!

    and All the Best for the Mr. Right find! ;)


  20. Ahh! That was funny as well as thought provoking! You should write more like this. Congrats on your first non-fashion post on your Fashion Blog.

  21. Loved the read. I think and hope I fall somewhere these extremes. Loved it that you ventured into this territory and didn't restrict yourself to fashion. It's my favourite territory. Love & not love. I have a whole blog dedicated to my love life. Come over to sometime. Right now, the mood is intense but most of the stuff there is light hearted.

  22. Somewhere between those extremes*

  23. hahaha!! i laughed so loud!! BBN topic

  24. Anonymous12:59 pm

    I love the comparison to being about laptops so why not life partner!!!! Everyone keeps telling me you too picky and fussy, next time am going to qoute you. lovely post x